Tired pregnant lady coming through......

Against my better judgement and all in the name of the impending arrival of our little bundle of joy, we ventured to Ikea this past Saturday. We arrived having already been to the baby shop, spotlight and Karrinyup, so we were already feeling tired and over the bustle of the retail sector on a Saturday.

I don’t know what Stirling Council were thinking when they built the roads around that Scarborough Road section but it is such a mess. Exit and entrances randomly everywhere. I thought the idea of town planning was just that... planning everything so it worked effectively. The spotlight car park is my least favourite. It is supposed to be two ways but is only really one way and has no pedestrian pathways so the pedestrians walk where the cars are supposed to be, meaning there is only really room for ½ a car and you keep having to avoid the kids wandering randomly along the car park, their eyes firmly glued on their newly purchased Spiderman or Ballerina costumes from Spotlight.

We were at Spotlight to buy some curtain material for the baby’s room as my Mum has agreed to make the curtains. We set off thinking we could find a nice colourful material that was gender neutral so my Mum could make them before the baby came (given that we are not telling anyone what we are having). In the end it is almost impossible as all the kids materials are either pink or blue or yellow so now the curtains are waiting till after the birth.

So back to Ikea, as it was nearly 2pm when we arrived, and hunger was setting in and there is no way I would cope with Ikea on an empty stomach, we fast tracked it to the Ikea Restaurant. You have probably all been to eat at the Ikea restaurant before but this was my first experience.

That place gets soo busy and I don’t know how they plan it but there always seems to be free tables even though there seems to be an endless stream of people purchasing food. It’s certainly not like finding a table at the normal shopping centre food court, where on Saturday lunch or a Thursday late night shopping visit it is like being in a PS3 game called “Food Court Warfare” where you are frequently required to vault across several tables to secure a recently vacated table which has an attractive pile of chewed KFC chicken bones or a half eaten tray of Chinese in the middle.

The Ikea restaurant is well very Ikea – organised and stream lined and efficient. We queued up in required line to access the food and I must say I began to think “I feel like I’m in the prison food line”. We shuffled along with everyone else waiting our turn and reading the 100 signs outlining the amazing bargain food on offer and eventually came to pick up a tray and onto the food. Strangely they start by offering you desserts, then drinks, then sandwiches, then muffins, then onto the hot food, then soup and finally salad. It was like being presented a meal in reverse.

In hindsight I now know this is a ploy to get you to purchase more. I should have twigged when I got to the hot food section and ordered my quiche and salad and found that there was no room on my tray. I’m not sure I really needed that Apple Pie and cream.....

So being chock full of calories and getting that dozy afternoon feeling we headed into the Ikea showroom. Surprisingly we got through the shopping part pretty quickly and found the book case and shelves we required and paid without too much bother.

I must say I was picking up by then, thinking about being able to head home and relax after all this retail action, but by this time my wife, unbeknownst to me, was getting to that extra tired, not coping point that is somewhat exacerbated by being pregnant.

I should have known that 5 hours or retail action is not good for a pregnant lady or her state of mind. I certainly realised that it was time to head home at a rapid pace when I went off and got the car and arrived at the loading bay to find my poor wife, who had been trying to save me a spot, waving her arms, shouting loudly and about to be run over by a Minivan which was reversing into the spot that she was apparently saving for me. I tried to wave and say that I could easily park in the other free bays next door but to no avail, she was now knocking on the drivers window and shouting at the man.

Amazingly the man didn’t get out and yell abuse at my wife and even offered to move. I think a crazed, tired, pregnant lady yelling at you is enough to make anyone move.

So given the dire state of the situation I quickly loaded my wife into the car along with all the Ikea purchases and headed off home. As we rounded the first corner my wife, still wiping away the tears, broke out in fits of laughter about her first major pregnancy moment. Lets hope there’s not too many to come in those last 10 weeks.

Stroller incident no.2

I thought that I had moved passed stroller incidents, as you may remember on our first visit to the baby store I got told off for my stroller driving style and constantly calling it a pram instead of a stroller.

Well the Saturday just passed we ventured once again into a baby store to do some more research and perhaps make a purchase. The major reason behind the trip was testing car seats and stroller to see if they fit into our car. This of course meant taking in and out of the shop numerous car seats and strollers and loading them in an out of the car.

The lady that assisted us seemed nice enough and in the end was actually lovely but the first sign of trouble was the steely glare I got when my wife said she has come previously and looked at them and now she wanted to show me. I could tell by the look that she was thinking “ useless male – makes wife do all the research and then turns up for 10 mins to have a look”...

The next steely glare I got was when I put the pram that we had just tested down on the tarmac next to the car. Apparently that might damage it which seemed a surprising thing to worry about given the shoving i had just done to try and get a monster stroller into the car!! Obviously I am a slow learner and also did it with the car seat which again was met with a comment about not damaging the seat. I still can’t see how resting it on the tarmac is going to damage it... i think i could put an egg on the tarmac and it come up without any scratches.

I think in the end though the resounding smile we got was mainly due to the large amount of money we spent on the car seat, stroller and portacot and numerous other attachments. At least we have most of the big stuff now.

Onto other matters and my wife is progressing well and things are still going very well according to the Obstetrician. We are down to visits every 3 weeks and heading towards a weekly visit. I’m thinking about setting up a tent in his waiting room though after our last appointment when our appointment was at 4pm and we didn’t get in to see him until 9.10pm. I think perhaps if we camp there we can just pop in for a weekly check up when he has a quiet moment.

It’s funny how women go through the visual phases of pregnancy. To start with there are no signs.. then, for those that know, there is a little bump that appears. I think to the outside world, who are none the wiser, they are probably thinking “hmmmm she has had a blow out lately and is piling on the pounds”.... then comes the announcement that she is pregnant which let most people into the sudden increasing bump but i think to people in the street it can just look like they have a bit of a gut for quite some time.

Well my wife is certainly into the looking pregnant to everyone stage.... we were on the train the other day and this young fella of about 18, with his headphones still in shouted down the train to my wife, at a volume which meant the driver 3 carriages away probably knows that he offered up his seat, , “excuse me did you need a seat?” Now that was the moment I thought – she looks really pregnant now. It was lovely of the fella to offer his seat although is should really have been the mega fat guy sitting in the priority seats reading a book and pretending not to see anyone.

It’s only 10 weeks to go today which is becoming increasingly confronting. The reality of little sleep, waking up every few hours, dealing with nappies and poo and a BABY!!! seems to be barrelling towards us like a freight train.