The Pregnancy, Babies and Child Expo

This past weekend was Perth’s very own Pregnancy, Babies and Child Expo and of course as a pregnant couple we had to go and look at the so called bargains. Well actually it was a good chance to look at all the stuff the baby shops have in one place and not have to spend days driving to each store (but don’t tell anyone I said that!!)

I thought the best way to capture the expo was in statistics (note some of these statistics may not have been scientifically proven):

Number of People – 3,000

Number of Pregnant people – 1,500

Number of Prams – 1,000

Number of Children – 1,000

Number of haggard looking men - 500

Number of pram collisions with my legs – 10

Number of feeding babies – 150

Number of exposed breasts – not sure was looking at the roof

Number of essential baby items available – 100,000

Number of essential items purchased – 1

Cash left in wallet at exit - $0

Amount spent – think of an amount and double it

So like all expos this was a couple of halls full of booths of all relevant stuff – so all baby and pregnancy stuff basically. Expect for Ford – I saw a big Ford sign down the end of one of the halls but I’m not sure what baby stuff they were selling as we never got there as the pram situation hit critical mass and I couldn’t get down that aisle.

What could Ford be selling?? Surely you can’t persuade people to buy a new car just because they are pregnant.

Navigating around the halls was certainly not the easiest thing. The number of prams was amazing. I think at one point the number of prams hit crisis point and we were one pram away from gridlock. This meant that pram related injuries were high and mainly at ankle height.

This combined with staff that seemed to be able to hear what you were thinking and keep saying things like “it might look small but it’s the perfect size” when I thought I was just reading their sign about breast pumps, meant the expo had its moments.

Speaking of breast pumps apparently you should only get an automatic breast pump as manual ones don’t work as well. I would have to say I’m not sure I would put an automatic pump anywhere near breasts if I had any. Automatic?? What if it doesn’t know when to stop sucking?

The highlight for me was the lady who told us that the price of the car seat we were looking at was the cheapest it would ever be and would never be repeated outside of this show. Really?? Never to be cheaper??? I find that hard to believe.


My final comment is about “Tupperware” how can that company find a reason to be at every and I mean EVERY expo. Sexpo, Car shows, food shows, boat shows… now I know why we own so much of it.

The Baby Shop

So we went to our first baby shop. As I said in my previous post. Man there is a lot of stuff for babies.

We primarily went to look at a “Stroller” or as we kept saying “Pram”. The lady in the shop kept correcting us which I think was annoying her but after I got in trouble for my pram, I mean stroller, pushing technique I was quite happy to push her buttons

As all blokes would know it’s important to test out the manoeuvrability of any machine with wheels that is about to be purchased. This thing is going to have to do some miles and will not just be doing neat little walks along a smooth pavement. It’s going to be going everywhere.

So I took the stroller (see I’m learning) for a test run. I was weaving all around the store checking out cornering, how it went in a bumpy situation, how easily it tipped. Hey I didn’t even leave the store!! but when I returned to my wife the lady in the story said “I hope you’re not going to behave like that with a baby in there.”

I think I was pretty tame. I didn’t even do the wet weather testing I had in mind or see if I could fit in the stroller should I need a seat when we are out and about. I think she got of lightly.

I then wandered off to look at the cots that were nearby, while my wife talked to the lady about the finer points of strollers. I approached a very nice looking cot and thought I would check out how it works. As far as I understood most of them have a side that slides up and down to allow easy access for picking up the baby and laying them down.

I grabbed the side that looked appropriate for sliding up and down and tried to, well slide it down. Hmm can’t get it to move.. Try lifting perhaps, hmmm pushing down??.. hmm maybe there are some buttons on the side.. hmm no buttons. This thing must work somehow. It’s supposed to be easy to do one handed as the sign said. Maybe I’m at the wrong side of the cot. Try the other side.. hmm still no luck.

By this time I was just about ready to rip the side off the cot when the lovely assistant (and I use the word lovely rather loosely) came over and in one neat movement went whoosh and the side was down. All I could do was look on in amazement thinking “I’m sure I tried that exact same movement”.

I then gave it a go and while I was not as swift as she was, I did manage to get it down and up again. I then of course stood there for 5 minutes going “side goes up, side goes down” until the lady frowned at me and I decided better move on and look at nipple pads and feeding pillows.

We managed to escape without any purchases but I fear that might not be my only trip to the baby store.